Poland Point

When does old age begin? According to Poles, just after sixty. And for women even earlier than that, absurdly early.

A survey conducted for Gazeta shows that Poles believe that a woman is already old at the age of 60 years and four months, whereas a man only when he is 62 and a half years of age. What is more, male respondents believe that a woman becomes old at the age of 59 years and five months, whereas women think a man becomes old only after turning 64!

In other words, a Polish man, whose average life expectancy today is almost 71 years, is old in the eyes of the opposite sex for only the last seven years of his life, whereas a statistical Polish woman, with her average life expectancy of almost 80 years, is old in the eyes of men for as long as twenty years. For him, it is one tenth of his life, for her - one fourth!

This negative discrimination of women is intensified by the steadfast stereotype that in a heterosexual relationship the male partner can be older, but never the female one. We asked about marriages with an age differential of twenty years: 'Is it alright for a 65-year-old man to marry a 45-year-old woman?', and then 'Is it alright for a 65-year-old woman to marry a 45-year-old man?'.

The replies leaver no doubt: an older husband is tolerated by two in three Poles, whereas an older woman is rejected by as many. Another paradoxical finding: this discriminating opinion is stronger among women than among men, which means that the cultural stereotype affects them more strongly. If a 65-year-old woman takes a liking, and with reciprocity, in a 45-year-old man, then even if she manages to overcome her culture-imprinted inner resistance, she has to be prepared for as many as seven in ten of her women neighbours, cousins or friends condemn the relationship. Men's reaction would actually be less forbidding. This hardly encourages women of age to enter into relationships, despite the fact an elderly woman is usually in a much better shape than a man of her age. The respondents are aware of this. When asked whether it is true that women grow old faster than men, two thirds replied to the negative.

What is old age according to Poles? We touched upon the question by asking what is appropriate behaviour at the age of 65. The replies reveal a lot of - declared - tolerance for, and recognition of, old people's rights and capabilities. Almost all respondents believe old people have the right to enjoy life, dance, ride a bike, dress smartly, run a show on TV (so why are there virtually no old people on the Polish TV?). Respondents see nothing inappropriate either in working, studying, or even falling in love when you are old.

But an elderly person should retain the appropriate seriousness: he (74 percent of replies), and especially she (84 percent) should not act silly on the street, nor should he (60 percent), and especially she (66 percent) kiss in a park. The latter opinion is particularly surprising: what do we care about an elderly couple cuddling each other under a chestnut tree? Virtually everyone is against an old person using foul language.

Respondents are even stricter in their views about women when it comes to their outward appearance: six in ten respondents say a 65-year-old man can sunbathe in just his briefs, but only 39 percent give a woman of the same age the right to appear in nothing but a bikini. Poles see nothing wrong in a man with a paunch, but think a woman's Rubenesque figure should better be screened from male (and female) view.

There is one point where women have more rights than men - they can dye their hair, which is seen as inappropriate for women. A pity.

source:gazeta.pl

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